Monday, January 23, 2012

What Do Guys Look for in a Girl?

Two months ago I posted "Looking for a Real Christian Woman". It's humbling when the largest reading this blog has ever had was a re-posted article (receiving 170+ hits). After you've read that post, this should be a good-balancer. I'm pretty biased myself, when it comes to what qualities a girl should have. To be fair, I decided to collect from a group of my Christian friends what qualities they look for (or would look) in a girl whom they want to marry. I asked 11 guys from across the board: 2 married, 3 engaged, 2 dating, and 4 who aren't dating. I compiled their responses into fifteen traits/standards that guys are looking for in a girl (after traits 1 & 2 there is no order).

One of the guys responded with this essential to have before reading any of these criteria/traits. He says...

Before looking at all these criteria and thinking: "She has to be like this!", I remind myself that the work I have to do is first and foremost in my own life... for God to make me a man that fulfills these criteria personally. I cannot expect of my future wife anything that I am not expecting of myself, when it comes to these criteria. May the Lord allow me to please him and be myself a man of God instead of eagerly seeking someone who fits with all my desires.

15 Traits for a Woman

1 - Her foremost love is for God
She actually loves Jesus. She loves the Lord, and it is genuine. This is essential so that we are both longing for the same goal as we belong to Christ. The cross of Christ in her life is central.

2 - Christian life matches up with her love for God
She loves others and its rooted in what Christ has done for her. She isn't bogus or putting on her "being Christian" face for others, especially for me. She acts the way she does because she loves God since he first loved her.

3 - Fun
She doesn't take herself too seriously. We laugh together and at each other. She's not rude, yet she has a quality sense of humour.

4 - Prayer & Bible Reading
She talks with God. Her time with God is of daily import. She's always growing here and is excited to talk about what God is teaching her.

5 - Selfless
She thinks about treating others as she would want to be treated. She's known for doing things without being asked.

6 - Complimentary with her gifts to myself
She seeks to help me where I'm weak and to point out where I can improve. As well, she affirms me at what I'm good at.

7 - Disciplined
She's not lazy. She's focussed and determined to be diligent with her time.

8 - Money is not her master
She has a biblical view on money. She isn't drawn, ruled, or controlled by it. She works hard and lives within her budget.

9 - Communicates
She is a good listener; she listens then speaks in response - she's not just waiting for you to stop talking so its her turn. She is honest and clear and speaks with kindness. She's not known for being loud and/or in-your-face.

10 - Wisdom
She is prudent. She knows she is a sinner and is not all-knowing. She learns and changes her life from her mistakes. She's invites critique and is open to reason.

11 - Physical
She takes care of herself. Exercises and eats good. She isn't obsessed with how she looks but she's not a slob by any means. She spends more time in her Bible in the morning than on her hair and face.

12 - Local Church
She meets with the local church and sees that its essential to be apart of. She actively helps out and serves where she can.

13 - Family
She doesn't just say "they're important", she actually loves them. She spends time with them, phones them. She wants kids. She knows and wants her ministry to be first with her own family. She doesn't neglect them.

14 - Currently Submits
To those who are over her - her dad (and mum), her elders, her boss, her landlord. She shows submission to these authorities by obeying them willingly.

15 - Domestic (Cooking & Cleaning)
She cooks...and its good (or at least she's improving)! Even though she may hate cooking and cleaning, she does it out of love for those around her. She's not stuck-up, but sees the necessity of looking after the home. Even if she works she's willing to help out significantly.

Tell me if the list gave you a shock or if you were nodding your head.
What would you add/take away from the list?

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